What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Do you think your landlord should have a key to your room?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Do interviewers discriminate against a candidate if he or she is overweight (assuming physical fitness is NOT part of the job requirements)?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What is the logic behind the porn being legal but not prostitution? Isn't it the same thing in essence?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why are white women not interested in dating Asian men? Are they not attractive to you at all?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

How do I rat my boss out for serial cheating on his wife?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

If my heart stopped beating, would I have enough energy to walk out into the other room 20 ft away before I passed out and died?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why do men prefer women below the age of 30?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Can a Trump supporter explain what was wrong with what Bishop Budde said to Donald Trump?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

TEXT:

Why did you choose not to join Mensa?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

I’m a 25 year old teacher teaching at boys school & I have colleagues younger than me. I caught one of my students telling her he wanted her as his teacher instead & it hurt my feelings. They compliment her a lot. It makes me jealous. What do I do?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is the most ridiculous obviously false verse in the Bible?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...